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abbywaycullen
12 September 2009 @ 05:58 pm
Oh mommy dear, we're not the fortunate ones.

Girl's Just Want To Have Fun...


Keeping a journal seems hard for me to accoumplish in general. I have not posted on here in almost a whole year. That just seems rediculous. Regardless of the fact that I have nothing interesting to say, I should still post more. I have a written journal, in my bedroom, but I hardly write in that aswell. Alas, I guess I should flood with information about recent invents and changes. Not that many, but there are some.

As I mentioned prior, the female cats in my house gave birth. Well one of the kittens from the first litter never went away. Rosalie was to weird for another family. In Tizzy's second litter one boy never left, either. Sam was to big to be adopted after awhile. He got Bella and Rosalie preggo again, making our total kitten count a smashing number of twenty-four. Hectic times, man. Messy times. Things are finally back to normal, and all the cats have been fixed.

I no longer share a room with my brother, and it's sad. He got accepted into a Merchant Marine school in Maryland, and he left in august for that. I didn't think I would miss him this much, but I really do. He calls almost every day, but he's always busy. We send him letters and things like that. He'll be gone for about a year, maybe more. I can't wait for him to come back, though.

I applied for the Disney Career Start program. It's where you go to disney to work for about seven months. They give you a dorm to live in with multiple roommates, and take the rent straight out of youre check. If I do get accepted, I'll leave around january or febuary. I feel kind of bad about it, though, becuase I'd be leaving my mom, dad, and step dad by themselfs. In just a six month range, they'll go from have two kids and millions of cats to being by themselve's. I'm more worried about my dad getting lonely, though.

If I don't get in, I can always apply again, until I'm twenty-one. That's good, because I really want to do this. It seems like a great experience. I guess wish me luck on it, okay? If I don't get in this time, though, wish me louck on getting a job! No one will hire me, ever. I've never been interviewed, and I'm pretty sure no one's ever looked at an application of mine. It's horrible, because I need a job asap.


Since it was my dad's birthday on thrusday, I'm spending a great amount of time with him this weekend.


 
 
Current Location: Living room
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Say Anything - I want to know youre plans
 
 
abbywaycullen
19 November 2008 @ 03:36 am
They came from over the wall and farther to see the race that would change the world.

The Minute that I saw your face, I forgot about the race.

How we dream of love in these trying times, I do not know. The economy's crashing, everyone's dieing from lack of healthy lives, and have the world is racist or sexist. And yet' all us single people still crave to be touched, to be seen, to be loved. I don't understand how we can still think at all with how our world is. But, alas, we still think, we still feel, we still love. That constant need for a companion, that un dieing pain in our chest when our closest friends are with their lovers. It's human nature, we are social animal's, not like whales or crabs.

Surrounding ourselves with dog's and cat's and all these animal's, I've learned, does not ease the loneliness. I believe it just makes it worse. Well then what are we too do? We can't go running back to our last lovers, supposedly. We can't sleep around with stranger's, for that hardly helps. All we can hope for is that we run into that perfect someone while we're out getting a coffee or a book from the bookstore. We can go look for them at dance clubs, if that's your style. Hell, we can even write our name and number in the stall's of the public restrooms, if you want to run on faith.

And if you find you're perfect someone, good for you, you found what works for you. Hopefully it wasn't the bathroom, though. But what of the rest of us, the ones that are still alone? How do we get our lover's? I've been searching for two years. I've hit on the cashiers at Barnes & Noble's, Starbucks, Winn-Dixie, people parked next to me, even someone from France who's been in the country a short month. I've been to dance clubs, and bars. Nothing. How am I supposed to fall in love? How am I going to get my Happily Ever After? 

Does the man not exist? Or have I past him up already? Was it Daniel or David? I'm beginning to lose faith in any 'romance' with my name on it. You get tired of people rejecting you. And I'm really very exhausted. I can't do it anymore! So my dreaming of love has stopped. My thought of a Happily Ever After that they pitch at me in Disney has ended. It's time to join the real world full of unhappy people and live my life in France.

Paris, the city of love. Maybe that will work for me?

 
 
Current Mood: crushed
 
 
abbywaycullen
17 November 2008 @ 03:25 pm
Lets not forget, Lets not forget, what happens in the past.

 
Lets save this game for Never.

I'm not very good at keeping blogs and journal's and such. I just think that's because I have nothing of consequence to say, really. You can't really fake being interesting, when there's nothing to fuel the fire. Oh well, I really can't change the fact that I suck at writing interesting things. I can say that I'm awesome at playing The Sims and at reading.

In Other News...

I'm all over Gaspard Ulliel lately. I think I'm changing my stalking from Tom to Gaspard, for I don't want to live in London now, but France. I can speak a little french. I took it for about 3 years in elementary school. And I find French men just so sexy. I did meet one at Disney(duh) named Thomas. He's 24, and wears glasses like meeee. BUT he never called or emailed me. That's gonna be an awkward reunion when I go back(he works there).  There's nothing I can do about that.

I said duh when I said Disney, because I'm always at Disney World. I go all the time. I've been six times this year alone. That place is magical, I seriously recommend going. It just makes you forget about all the problems and reality. Best of all, The cast members(workers) HAVE to be nice to you, or they get fired. So no one treats you like a disease.

I don't think I elaborated on this subject before; Cats. As you might know, we had four cats originally. The one of them (Tizzy) got pregnant, twice. So That's ten Kittens we had. Then my cat (Bella) got Pregnant once, also. That's another five. Giving us nineteen cats all together, everyone was really to blow their brains out. So if anyone wants a kitten, we have four left. One is orange from Tizzy, and three are White with blackness on them. Their really very cute.
 
 
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Cajun Dance Party - Amylase
 
 
abbywaycullen
10 March 2008 @ 03:52 am

Just me and you, we're here alone And if you stay, 
all I'm asking for is A thousand bodies piled up.


And I wish you Away
 

I got into a fight with my sister. FINALLY. I screamed at her, I called her lazy and spoiled and told her she's messy and annoying. She called me spoiled, but that didn't really hit any vital chord, because I've been hearing that since I moved in with my father. Anyways, I told her to shut the fuck up and she didn't live here, I did. Basically half the shit that I've wanted to tell her for the past 6-9 months just flooded out. kept my mouth shut about her being a fucking whore and a bad mother. Good thing too, I'm sure. Anyway, she probably thinks that she hurt me, the only think that hurt was my heart because I used to much energy and it was pounding like crazy. I don't really give a flying fuck what I made her feel, just as long as she knows what I fucking think of her skanky bitchy fat ass.

Moving On!

I've been watching 'The Mighty Boosh' on youtube. Funny shit. They might be coming to America, which is brilliant. If they don't, I'll just see them when I move to England. After I see them, I'll commence mission Tom Sturridge Stalk/Kidnap/Rape. Hotty McHot Hot, thats what he is. I've been drawing alot lately, and I drew the ugliest picture of Tom. I do good ones of Gerard Way because I've been obsessed with him for like five years. I'll get okay at Tom, soon.

Watching Harry Potter, and laughing my ass off!

 
 
Current Location: Room
Current Mood: Hot
Current Music: Drowning Lessons - My Chemical Romance
 
 
abbywaycullen
10 February 2008 @ 06:12 pm

When I beg you, don't ever leave me alone... To bad that doesn't work, right?

Please Believe Me.

So Like an idiot I fell for my bestfriend. My bestfriend from a different state. My bestfriend with a girlfriend. My bestfriend that's to good for me. My bestfriend, all-in-all. He knows I love him, and it surprised me when I told him. All he said was "I'm sorry, Abby." So I have dreams about him every once and a while, which I always tell him about. And I told him in a picture comment the other day "I had a dream about you last night, in which I went to hell for." Literally, I went to hell for looking at him and saying I loved him. His girlfriend messaged me telling me not to hit on her boyfriend and leave him alone, which I think is a stupid thing to say. Obviously if he's with her, she shouldn't feel threatend at all, right? Yeah, I'm right. Lets back-track.

When You told me you didn't need me anymore, I nearly broke down and died.

He was my bestfriend, he loved me, and he was a geek. I changed him to a popular good-looking boy, somehow. And by doing that, he stopped talking to me. He left me, and it hurt. hurt so much. It was weird, you know? Anyways, he told me he was sorry, he thanked me for staying his friend, and he said "You're like my sister." Well what am I supposed to do with that!? I'm in love with my bestfriend who I've known for maybe three or four years. He's the only boy who's seen me naked without me freaking out, without me hiding. Haven't had sex, though. He's the only boy who's saved me from death. He's the only one, period. He's all I want, and he's taken, and a fucking bitch is giving me crap for nothing. I can't do anything, and I have nothing. Oh Darling, Please believe me, I'll never do you no harm.

 
 
Current Location: Disney World
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Happiness is a harm gun - Joe Anderson
 
 
abbywaycullen
19 December 2007 @ 01:57 am
 
Obviously No one is Happy with the Edward casting...

But I could really care less who they picked. It doesn't change Tom Sturridge as my perfect Edward. And he most certainly doesn't replace Tom as Edward in my dreams. He does, however, expand his own fan base, which is a smart move on his part. I do wonder if he went looking on like photobucket and saw everyone liked Tom as Edward and told Tom. Because they know each other and all.

Which leads me to the next topic. I found Arthur Sturridge(tom's brother) myspace the other day. I found it quit entertaining. I know it was his myspace because I saw the picture of him and in another picture of Tom and his brother. Is the same person, Mhm. I didn't add him, though. I thought that would be alittle creepy. Some chick from another country thats obsessed with your brother adding you to myspace. Not the nicest image to paint.

The nicest image to paint is, in fact, Tom Sturridge naked 0.0 Oh yes. He is bringing sexy back, by the way. I found the funniest icons but I can't for the life of me remember who I got them from. I should have wrote it down or something. Oh well, better luck on my part next time.



"Here, speak to your little Fuck Boy"

^Fuck Boy^
^Hannibal Rising^

 
 
Current Location: Living Room
Current Mood: Pissed off
Current Music: Mom in my ear
 
 
abbywaycullen
16 December 2007 @ 08:32 pm

 If it weren't for the justice system, how many people do you think would kill? 

I have recently discovered that I am what you would call crazy.  I enjoy death in its entirety, and I find I would have no problem with murdering people, if it weren't for the whole being illegal thing. I don't really feel like spending my life in prison, so I really don't plan on murdering anyone. But how many people do you think agree with me? How many people would just murder, or would be to disgusted with taking human life? I think more people than not would be to scared too do it.

I used to think that I was too different. That no one understood me because I thought too much or because I cut myself off from the world. I think I've been wrong the entire time. I think I don't let people get to close because I think they wouldn't understand me at all. I like blood, and I like people not living anymore. I like guys that kill, and movies with guys that kill. I wouldn't mind shooting someone in the head, even if they had kids or what ever. 

Or maybe I'm just lost at the moment. I've been saved and I love Jesus, and I still wouldn't mind killing. If I am truly just lost right now, I'll wake up soon. And all this ranting will be a moment of psych lapse. For the sake of people around me, lets hope so.

Dude, I really need a boyfriend or something.

 
 
Current Location: Room
Current Mood: Savage
Current Music: Pass
 
 
abbywaycullen
02 December 2007 @ 09:40 pm

 What could I possibly be passionate about? Oh yeah, I know.

Twilight is my passion. Because I have no life.  But! There are few things I am passionate for. Twilight is one. My Chemical Romance is another. Ummmm Books in general, really. Wowza, didn't realize that this was a dead end question. I guess I can make it longer by elaborating a bit.


Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I'm too bored/bussy. 
Peaceandimout

 
 
Current Music: The sound of 'Planet of the Apes'
 
 
abbywaycullen
02 December 2007 @ 12:28 am

As of Today...

I have to share a room for the first time in about eight years.
With my brother, of all people. Just alittle creepy.

On Ward!!

I read New Moon last night, out of boredem. And I felt like a total retard. certain things that should click right off bat didn't come to me untill the 4th time reading it. Example: Page 74-75

"Suddenly, there was another sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animel sound. It sounded big. I wondered if I should feel afraid. I didn't-just numb. It didn't matter. The snuffling went away."

Enter Sam Fucking Uley, the lead werewolf, aka ANIMEL. I mean it took me forever to get that the sound was Sam, and that he found her in wolfy form. Jesus I'm fucking retarded. On Ward!!!

I have two cats in my room now. Bella my kitten, and Tizzy, my brothers cat. Tizzy needs to learn that she's the bitch in this house. Black Jack(moms cat) owns the place. Baby(everyones cat) is second in command. Bella has more power than Tizzy, she she needs to get a grip on reality. Anyways, enough of the cat wars.

Cat Wars, like Star Wars, only with cats. Hmmmm, that would be fucking awesome. I wanna make that now. This post has no meaning what-so-ever. So I guess I'm done ranting about cats.

Peace

 
 
Current Music: Kids With Guns - Gorillaz
 
 
abbywaycullen
29 November 2007 @ 02:28 pm

What I believe...

I Believe in nothing but God. I don't believe in people, because they lie. I believe that everything happens because its God's will. When you stray away from his path, Its because God allowed the Devil into your life. You're the way you were because that's what God chose for you.


I believe that if vampires were to be real, that they would not be evil. Vampires are just another breed of species. Its like saying, "We're going to hell for eating the cow that God gave us." Yeah, find that bullshit. Vampires would be just another predator, just like us. The End.


I believe that if you're 'Fat', that its not a problem. If everyone were skinny and fit, then there would be something seriously wrong with society. Everyone would probably be stuck up, or at least strive to be different and skinnier. Its all about being different.


I believe that if someone like a teacher or a parent tells you that your not smart enough or good enough for something, they're probably right. You can be as determined as anything, but that won't help that your not smart enough to do something. Like ** ******. No one ever told her that she isn't smart enough to do this certain thing, so now shes wasting her time trying, and its never going to happen. And she's stuck believing she's better than everything else.


The End

Tags:
 
 
Current Location: Room
Current Music: Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
 
 
abbywaycullen
28 November 2007 @ 08:14 pm

As my first entry, I'll pick up like I've been doing this for years. Because I'm no good at beginnings.


Jacob Black

I used to Hate this fictional character. I did not like that he was all over Bella, I did not like that he was so forceful, and I did not like that he was a werewolf. But, as I'm reading Twilight again, and Jacob is sad, all I can hear myself yelling is, "Damn it, Bella!! Go Hug him and comfort him!!" So that got me thinking. Of course, I'm still on Team Edward, but I love Jacob. He's so cute and childish, and he's so funny!! I don't hate Jacob Black, I hate the idea of Edward Loosing to someone. I'm full-on Edward lover, no doubt about it. But come on, if you'd never met Edward, and the book was about Bella falling for Jacob, you'd love it, you'd understand perfectly. If it were Mike Newton on the other hand, maybe not.


The End

 
 
Current Location: Room
Current Mood: Savage
Current Music: Hyper Music - Muse
 
 
 
 

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